I recently read a short book called ‘The Art of Doing
Nothing.’ The title intrigued me and I had seen several quotes that I love from
the author, so I decided to give it a try. It was such a simple book, but it completely
changed the way I have thought about a lot of things for a long time. There was
one phrase in particular that seemed to sum up a lot more about me than I would
like to admit: “We feel there is nothing we can’t do. Except doing nothing.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my life. For as
long as I can remember I have gotten antsy during movies and felt the itch to
at least be sewing or writing in my journal during the show. I can’t just sit there. (This may be part of
the reason I sometimes hate movie theatres.) I’m a great multi-tasker and most
definitely mix all of my leisure with some work. I can do nothing but work for
hours, but do nothing but play and rest? What does that even look like?
For a long time I think I have measured at least some of my
value by what I have produced. An A on my transcript is proof I busted my buns
in that class. A sparkling kitchen means I scrubbed and dried and worked hard.
A to-do list with little check marks on it means that I get stuff done! But
what do I get for taking a break? What physical proof do I have that I am doing
something productive with my life? The answer is basically none. But is my
value as a person really measured by my physical proof of productivity? Do
things you do only have value if you have something to show for it other than
reduced anxiety and lack of bags under your eyes? No!
But it is oh so hard to convince yourself otherwise. Hard
work is valued highly in nearly every culture and society. I don’t know how
many times I have heard phrases like “elbow grease” and “you can sleep when you’re
dead.” Heck, I say those phrases. Every time my husband tells me to take a
break. That’s why this is so hard. We feel lazy and unproductive when we let
ourselves relax and simply do nothing but think and dream.
“I constantly remind myself that resting takes confidence.
Anyone can train like a mad man, but to embrace rest…takes mental strength.”
Ryan Hall
Resting and allowing yourself to take breaks really does
take confidence. It takes a lot of strength to say “I have worked hard enough.
Now I am going to renew myself.” But I think that is one of the most beautiful
forms of self love. Because you are saying to yourself in that moment “I am
enough.” You approve of yourself. And you recognize that your worth is not just
based on everything that you produce.
Now, I am not advocating laziness and idleness. I do believe
that there is virtue in work and that if I work hard I can accomplish anything
I set my mind to. But I think there is a balance. D. Todd Christofferson said :
“Just as honest toil gives rest its sweetness, wholesome recreation is the friend
and steadying companion of work.” I just love that. Rest is not the end all be
all, but it is the steadying companion and balancer of hard work. Neither of
them work quite as well when they work alone, but together they create a
profoundly fulfilling life.
“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use
both and overlook neither.” -Alan Cohen
I think part of that balance comes from the intentions
behind our work and our leisure. I believe that things are good or bad
depending on how we use or abuse them. For example, I think Facebook and Instagram
and Netflix and movies and a lot of other “time-wasters” are AMAZING. I believe
that so much good can come from these things if we use them well! If I went
home and was feeling pretty beat after a long day at school, I could mindfully
turn on my favorite show and watch some of it to relax before I go onto other
things I need to do. Or I could go home and try to numb all of the anxiety I am
feeling over my mountain of homework and watch Netflix to get away from it all.
Identical actions. Very different effect on my self-esteem and how renewed I
feel when I am done. The same goes for social media. There is a difference
between needing a break and going to look at beautiful pictures on Instagram and
feeling connected to my friends on there, and mindlessly scrolling through my
feed. I think this is maybe the difference between laziness and rest. One is
intentional, the other is not. One is loving yourself, and the other is numbing
yourself.
So, this is me telling myself I am enough. Right now. Before
I check anything off that to-do list. I will allow myself to take naps and take
breaks. I will renew my soul and body with beautiful things that serve no other
purpose than making me happy. I will give myself permission to live a beautiful
life, not just a productive one. (It really helps if you are married to Matt.
Every time I tell him that I needed a break so I didn’t do my homework he says “Good
for you.” He knows me so well.)
Don’t you think it is so interesting that what a lot of
people do for their work is not their passion in life, and yet we always ask
people what they do for work? Why don’t we ask people what they do when they
relax? We can learn so much about each other by asking what we do when we do
nothing. I don’t want my answer to be “Well, I stress about everything else
that I should be doing.” I want my answer to be “I paint, I dream, I read, I
nap, I look at beautiful photos, and I just soak myself in inordinate amounts
of self-care and self-love.”
To end all of this I would like to quote my life-changing
and inspiring philosophy professor: “We are not defined by our work; we are
defined by our leisure.”
Go out and take some time to do nothing today. We’re worth
it.
Xoxo, Autumn
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