The Extraordinary Love in Your Weakness.

Hello Beautiful World. Sorry for the crazy delayed blog post. I promise the excuse list is long and mostly convincing (I did move 3 times, went on two trips to California, became manager at my work, started school, planned a wedding, and got married). I have been married for over 2 months now and have completely run out of excuses. So here I go!

Well my lovely friends, I have been thinking a lot recently about weaknesses. I don't even like that word. Every time we talk about weaknesses, it's as if they are something that must be eradicated as soon as possible. We must be strong. We must be warriors. We must "overcome, overcome, overcome" (That word is ALWAYS associated with weakness. Especially at church.) It's like we all theoretically know that everyone makes mistakes, but there is this unspoken rule that you aren't allowed to admit to it. You must have it all together. All the time.

But I am realizing more and more how being weak, and loving ourselves through it, can be one of the bravest and most loving things we will ever do.

Everyone knows we are imperfect. And they want to see that. Think about it: You probably know someone who is hard to connect with. When I was a teenager, I told a friend about something embarrassing that had happened to me. Her reply? That she had never had something like that happen to her. I know! Completely shut down. That conversation was awkward and ended right there. Because how do you connect to a robot who never makes mistakes? I bet you can also think of someone who makes you feel awesome about yourself and is pleasant to talk to. For me, those people are the ones who share their struggles and show empathy towards mine, instead of trying to only show the side of them they have perfected. Those people become my best friends. As humans, we connect to each other with our wounds.

My husband and I like to choose a different piece of spiritual writing or sermon each week and we then take it and read/listen to it and discuss and have the most beautiful soul talks. Soul talks that always seem to end up talking about God, who is love. A few weeks ago we read a talk called Both Feet Forward. In it, he says something beautiful. That weakness is the key to authenticity and love. We are all in a state of striving and when we can admit that we are simply doing our best but loving ourselves through it all, that is pure love. And that love sets others free and gives them permission to love themselves even when they are weak, too.

One of my very favorite quotes ends like this: "...As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Marianne Williamson)

I hope that by admitting that I have bad days others will realize that it's ok to have bad days, too. (Nobody likes the neverending optimist. They are kind of annoying. Not that I would ever call anyone annoying...) I hope that by admitting how awkward I feel in large crowds, how sometimes (often) I say really dumb things, and that I still have to make bright orange signs and hang them by my bed to remind me to pray and read my scriptures every day or I will sometimes just plain forget (So hard to admit. Be brave, Autumn.), other people will gain courage and be set free.

Don't pretend to have it all together all the time. It's so encouraging when you don't. Oh, how it lifts the heavy hearts and the hands that hang down! Everyone is simply doing their best and we all just need some love.

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities...in necessities...in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

xoxo, Autumn

p.s. In the picture, I'm the really pretty one in the backseat who can do that really attractive trick with her eyes. Obvs an object of jealousy.